Goodbye

graduway.com

Three years ago in Chinese New Year Eve, I talk with my grandma about tonight dinner. “Tonight is so quiet, grandma.” My grandma just laugh for a while. “Yes, they not come again this year.” Grandma take a deep breath and take a glass of beer. I knew my grandma very sad since she really hope her oldest son and her second son can reconciliation their connection between family. Every year, we celebrate Chinese New Year without one or two families since this conflict happened.

Actually, the main reason of conflict is very simple, but because their ego between each other, the problem become bigger and bigger. They never talk each other. Even they are brother, they such a mortal enemy. My grandma always remind them to forgive each other. But it seems useless, since this hostility keep happen until 10 years. My grandma always pray to God for this family reconciliation, but this prayer seems never get answered from God.

One shocked day on June 2015, my grandma fall in toilet. She unconscious and be carried into hospital to get immediate help. Until that moment, all family member go to hospital to update her condition. Because of her condition get worse, doctor say that head surgery is urgent to do. But the percentage of success is just 40%. So we just hope God’s miracle for grandma healthy right now. Everybody pray and hope my grandma can join with us again in good healthy.

openlttr.com

But the facts talk different, my grandma comma and never wake up again. At this time, her oldest and second son, talk each other. They want make my grandma desire all time come true. They come together to ICU room and forgive each other in front of grandma. Even I know grandma can’t see this moment, I knew that she’s very happy. My grandma waiting for this moment so long and she can get it. But it seems too late to celebrate it.

Ten hours after that moment, my grandma condition become worse. Doctor say the bad news that my grandma is passed away even the machine still works. With full tears and regret, we must take the facts that my grandma is gone. It’s very sad moment when you wait every single cable from her body is take and her heart rate is go down until show 0. Yes, my grandma never say goodbye, even in the last minutes we standing beside her bed and say we are love her so much. She has left us with smile, since she succeed unite her oldest and second son into a better relationship.

I knew that I can’t believe that last week before her gone, she still sit one table with me and family to celebrate my father and grandpa birthday. There’s no sign to say goodbye. She still smile and ask our condition as well as she do everytime we meet. I never expected that I meet again with her this week in coffin wearing the best dress, but with closed eyes and without breath.

bemorewithless.com

Sometimes we forgot that our family, friends, and life partner can leave everytime. We feel that we can be together forever, but until that day we realized to take care each other. The biggest regret is when you too late to say “I love you”, when they still alive. We never want to say goodbye, but we know that her love is stay alive in our heart. From now until forever.

~ oOo ~